1. |
Peony
01:34
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My breath suspended;
A moment that's frozen in time
Something so big for such insignificant eyes
They help us tell the story
A love that lives, a love that's lost
A love that takes the wrongs we make and makes them just the wrongs we've done
Water me like a flower; I'll feed you like the sun
The breeze gives it embrace, it makes me feel like I am young
Another gust will swing
I'll sit and wait until it comes
Be my wondrous everything
Be the vibrancy I can't seem to be
Pick my petals off one by one
Scatter the sun when you're done with me
We are the last of our everything
We are the cool beneath the shade
We are the dew when the morning comes
We are fresh cut peonies
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2. |
Tire Swing
02:53
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A misstep
Misplace all the thoughts that live in your head
A night spent in the darkness
A night spent to run from panic while you wake the dead
You envy them
While you soar from a vine to feel the sense of an ultimate free
Two hands push the tire swing
There's an honesty in hating all that's not
And, god, I tried
To gather all the pieces you took
If every branch is a limb I guess the storm ripped your body apart
Found no ignition to start
Just a broken key and a weak now to every strong
Do you numb like we do?
Is humanity a symptom of the same disease?
Do you regret what you made?
Put the harm on us 'cause you can't be saved
When you see the bloodshed,
Do you dismiss it as reality reeling a cold head?
Cold shoulder to the world
You won't shoulder all the blame
All this as a way to say "I'm sorry"
For leaving just like everyone else
I have to come to terms with it
When I needed you my closed palms trembled all alone like the halls inside your home
You swing away from all the blame and reframe to seem so innocent
What of your kids? I'm perfect for being born in sin
Do you regret what you made?
Put the harm on us 'cause you can't be saved
When you see the bloodshed,
Do you dismiss it as reality reeling a cold head?
Cold shoulder to the world
You won't shoulder all the blame
All this as a way to say "I'm sorry"
For leaving just like everyone else
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3. |
Glisten
04:38
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Skin in glisten
Clench; envision your teeth
Waive your mission
Switch position on me
You're just as sick in my song
You never got the love I know you want
Separate the skin from your bone
You never got the love I know you want
So, do you need more?
Or am I just what you settled for?
Cast me a line, I'm terrified
Of finding out all of it was a lie
Blame the glitching
Sic religion on me
(I plead)
Force submission
You take control of my breathing
You're just as sick in my song
You never got the love I know you want
Separate the skin from your bone
You never got the love I know you want
So, do you need more?
Or am I just what you settled for?
Cast me a line, I'm terrified
Of finding out all of it was a lie
That all of it was a lie
Juxtapose my wish for death with a fear of it
Tangle tongues with every single, shallow, sunken breath
Tie me to my chair and burden me with you
Does the liquor tell the truth?
Pretend it's just a kiss and sit outside
Caught between the passed time and the light
Swore you seeped that feeling from my limbs
Someday we can cherish all of this
So, do you need more?
Or am I just what you settled for?
Cast me a line, I'm terrified
Of finding out all of it was a lie
That all of it was a lie
A lie
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4. |
Seed
02:01
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Smoke screen the head rush
Your words felt like busted knuckles
Grasping with a broken hand
I just can't get away
It's so easy to leave when you know it's right
When you're honest, those seeds bloom in true fashion
But you're never true to you
God damnit I'm twenty three
I can't feel anything
Most days I don't know who I am anyway
Just sit dissociate
Let myself rot away
In the same bed I've been in but I can't leave
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5. |
Southpaw
03:59
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The day becomes a fog
The sun imploded in the east
And I can’t see the road I’m driving on or feel the floor beneath my feet
I sit and watch the clock
As the ambulance it flees
Now I’m sure, now I’m certain
that time doesn’t heal a thing
It just dulls the blade. I kiss your head and hold my breath.
I thought if I held your grey skin long enough the color would come back but it never did
And that’s the saddest part of love
we only see it when it leaves
It’s all in moments, all in pictures, all in distant memories
That we can never seem to hold
As they’re sitting in our hands
I can’t touch you. I can’t feel you. I can’t find the strength to stand
Taller than I am as I watch my mother cry. Your daughter, she talks about an afterlife. One that I don’t know. But one I hope you find. Wherever you are, whoever you’re with, I just hope it sees you right.
I should’ve seen you when I could. I just couldn’t drive the five fucking minutes it took to get to your house from mine. And now I’m left to process. And now I’m left to forgive myself. And pretend I tried to make the most of the time I was given.
A search for you in wind
You’re my cardinal
Point me in the right direction
Southpaw
My left
With love we leave
Find peace; find rest
Sun up on the morning of May 15th.
I got the news on Beverly and sped into a parking lot.
Grandma handed me the shirt you left me with a picture of a bass on it.
I always took for granted all your subtle ways of bonding.
I drove with the windows down listening to Creedence and Cool Change.
My left hand still writes the words the way yours would strum the strings .
We couldn’t have a funeral.
I hope the songs we songs we sang suffice the ceremony.
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